Hello May!!!

Before we say hi to May, let me revisit Aprils goals, briefly. 

1. Get closer to God (check! However this is a lifelong goal so I won't need to add this every month)

2. Save $1000 (check! You'd be surprised how much money you save when you stop actually purchasing lunch)

3. KEEP MY WORD!!! (check! My friends should vouch, any one of them I made plans with this month I kept.)

4. DON'T PROCRASTINATE!!! (check! Its easier to handle things as soon as possible, in fact handle the most daunting tasks first)

So with that being said I won in April, my prize? Some cool patterned pants from Target (Tar-jay) that make me sing the Sandford and Son theme song each time I put them on.

Now on to May's Goals

1. No social networks!!  Let me explain, due to me being a blogger I won't disappear from them completely, but I am now making a conscious effort not to disappear into them either. Until I find a happy medium I will be removing Facebook, Twitter....and I'm really struggling with removing Pinterest :(. From my phone. 

2. Get a Hobby!! I've started playing kickball but for some reason I want something else. I just need something more to do. I'm such a creepy introvert that this goal is next to impossible but like those self help people say "The word IMPOSSIBLE has I'm Possible in it..." how lame is that?

3. Read a Book!! This should be easy, I love books, I love to read, I just noticed that I haven't been reading any actual novels lately and I got sad about that today. So I'm going to read and enjoy at least one book this month.

4. Pay two bills off of my debt owed to society!! No really, I plan to take my credit report and pay at least two bills that have gotten on there because of my negligence and lack of care. Don't judge me lest ye be judged. 

So these are my goals this month, I really hope I reach them all. The prize that I'm holding over my head is awesome, hopefully I'll be able to show it off to you guys in June :)

Transformation Tuesday: Hair, Skin, Nails

Good morning everyone! Well as you all know its Transformation Tuesday, a day where we talk about health in general and the strides we've made throughout the week. As far as my weight goes, I weighed in this morning at 130.0, and I'm still doing all my normal exercise routines. I was sure that nothing would have changed in a week that's why this weeks Transformation Tuesday is focused on Hair, Skin and Nails.

We'll begin with MY hair. Last year sometime (I never keep up with dates) I decided to go on a half ass hair journey and surprisingly with minimal effort the things I was doing worked. I begin to stretch my relaxers (which I still haven't gotten the hang of completely) and watch the amount of heat that I put into my hair. I also visit a salon regularly, in case I need a trim and I NEVER apply my own relaxers. Pictured below are the products I use for a simple wash day. Most people have tons of stuff they use but as I said its a half ass effort on my end. 

Next is skin, WATER WATER WATER!!! People preach this and it actually works. There is no miracle liquid that was invented by The Artist Formally Known As....nope this stuff is all around us and its FREE! Can you believe that? I drink water all day long although sometimes I slack off and grab a soda, just being honest. I think it is also important to wash your face, its funny how much more I put into having "perfect skin" vs "perfect hair" but whatever YOU WILL DEAL. Pictured below are my go-to face washes, NOT pictured below is the moisturizer I use because I usually just dab some Eucerin lotion on my face lol, it works so far. 

Lastly nails, what can I say about these? I don't bite them (putting fingers in my mouth seems germy, unless its Mr. Nasty Time with my husband). I don't really do much to maintain these things, I polish them each week with whatever shade of pink or purple I'm feeling. I did struggle with cuticle issues because I wash my hands often throughout the day due to my job, but I've learned that moisturizing right after seems to help. Pictured below is a supplement called Biotin, that helps with all of these (hair skin nails). I don't take it often enough to say that its whats making the difference, but if you're curious it can be found pretty much EVERYWHERE!!! 

Welp guys that's all I have for Transformation Tuesday, I hope this helped someone. God bless until next time!!!

#KCInStyle: Mixed Prints

From this point forward I will show off my city and the people in it by entering the style of the week on Instagram, into my blog. No the winner does not GET anything this is not a competition at all. Sometimes when scrolling through IG I get inspired. I follow some pretty cool people that post more than memes, inspirational quotes, and pictures of text messages of them cursing out some random person I hope to never meet.  

This weeks pick is special, it is my fashionable friend Jessica, (it won't always be someone I know) I figured since she's the one that inspired me to do this entire section I'd ask her if I could use her pic as my first post, she obliged. Jessica pulled this look off well, its not often that you see outside of the box turn out as well as this did, but it worked. As you can see Jessica's IG tag is in the upper left corner of the picture. Feel free to follow her for more cute outfits, you won't be disappointed.

The Other Woman

What a beautiful weekend it's been in Kansas City.  House Hunting, and date night, basically an all around good time with my husband. So good that he agreed to sitting through a chick flick and I didn't even have to insist much.....so shout out to him. However...comma this post isn't about him and how great he is, it's about "The Other Woman" a movie starring my twin, Cameron Diaz, Kate Upton and Leslie Mann. 

First off I'll say this is an awesome, laughing good time and you should go see it. Secondly it got me thinking, how realistic is that situation?  I mean we all know how realistic a married man having a mistress is in the 21st century. (I am not at all excusing this behavior, in fact I think it's sad and just pointing out what some of us accept as the norm). Too many times I've heard full grown women proclaiming "Well I'm his number one" and I'm thinking "No." But that's another blog in itself.

My question is how realistic is it to build an actual relationship with a woman who (unbeknownst to her) is/was your husbands mistress? The movie made it quite realistic and enjoyable believe it or not. Throughout all of the madness the ladies formed a sort of bond, a sisterhood, it was admirable to say the least. The anger became directed at the deserving party rather than the women who were involved. Hmph, who knew something like that could actually work? You'll understand that 5 minutes from now.

Well, until next time dolls!!!

Transformation Tuesday: Transparency

Lots of “T’s” up there I know, but as the subtitle states this is my chance to be completely transparent about my weight. EVERYONE has something about their bodies that they are JUST not here for. I truly believe this, and maybe it makes me feel better about my dislikes and I’m making that up, but for me it is FACT lol.

I’m a skinny girl, anyone that knows me says I’m small but for one that does not mean my weight is perfect or that my body type is the “preferred” one. There are still things I feel like I need to target. Namely my butt, and my stomach.

Butt Goals: I need it to be bigger

Tummy Goals: I need it to be flatter.

Simple. My husband (bless his heart) loves my body but I always see something in those two areas that I want to change. So I’m going to do it before it becomes too hard because I’m almost certain my metabolism is going to come to a complete stop within 5 years. This is going to be difficult because I don’t have any actual weight loss or gain goals. My goals ar listed above and as I stated are simple. However, for the sake of this and future posts I will document my weight, water intake (if I can remember), squats, and tummy excercies for the coming weeks. Wish me luck.

Starting weight: 131.2 (Height 5'6.5)

I Guess I'm a Feminist (Buzzfeed Quiz Reveal)

“Being defiant can be a good thing sometimes,” Aunty Ifeoma said. “Defiance is like marijuana — it is not a bad thing when it is used right.”

~Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Lately I’ve been all about empowering women, it is so easy to get down on yourself as a female these days. I just feel like we all need to hear that little voice saying “You’re better than that”. Its not all about how a man treats you or how society treats you but more about how you treat yourself SLJ (self love journey).

I know that we have been told time and time again, what NOT to take from a man and how we should carry ourselves, but I don’t think it’s getting through. With a plethora of media types, showing us how we should look, telling us how to behave, we get lost in that. I won’t even mention the shows we watch that make men think its normal to sleep EVERYWHERE (not just around) and women think that as long as they’re number 1 then they’re good. Don’t Be Stupid. What you see on reality is not reality, and it certainly isn’t something you should adopt as YOUR OWN reality. Stop being stupid.

Anyway, I’m a feminist and I have not always been this way, I used to be a bit of a…well I don’t know, I had to get my self esteem right together and fast, and that’s what I did and am still currently doing. I’m just trying to take some people with me.

If you want to know if YOU too are a feminist, take this 3 second quiz (literally) from Buzzfeed. http://www.buzzfeed.com/kellyoakes/are-you-a-feminist

Positivity

“I release all disappointment, from my mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional bodies, cause I know that spirit guides me, and love lives inside me. Thats why today I take life as it comes” India.Arie

This is one of my favorite quotes, and lately its been my mantra. With so much going on around me, everything moving at the speed of light, it takes some real concentration to slow things down, but it’s possible. I get so wrapped up in…everything. Gossip, drama, ugliness, negativity. People say its like watching a train wreck…hard to turn away. The difference with this is even when you’re just enjoying the show, you internalize some of that stuff. You compare your situation to others and without knowing it you cross the line of humility. Being humble is what makes life worth living, in my opinion. Slow down.

Thus far 2014 has been about health and love…self love. I’m learning to appreciate the beauty that is within me. There are so many ugly things I can list about myself, so many past mistakes that I have made that I could be ashamed of, but what good does that do me? Instead I’ve taken the time to appreciate who I am, what I am, appreciate the words that form in my brain and come out on my lips. The human psyche is a delicate thing, I have to pay attention to what goes into my body, mind, soul and spirit. There is nothing at all wrong with taking some time for yourself, to reevaluate the direction your life is going in. Reevaluate the people that you are allowing in your precious circle. Revelauate yourself. Forward movement.

“Life is far too long to spend it doing things you hate with people who mean you no good”

~Me.

Hello April: Monthly Goals

This is not going to be my typical weekly rant of crazy talk. Instead this will focus on my goals for the month and hopefully serve to keep me in line, which has proven next to impossible.

Goals:

1. Continue to grow closer to God
2. Save $1000 (Total Money Makeover)
3. DON’T PROCRASTINATE
4. KEEP MY WORD!

The last two are ongoing problems for me, well not problems, but things about myself that I’m not a big fan of. It seems that my intentions are good but something always comes up, or I completely forget I’ve made another commitment on the same exact day and time. I’ll let you know how it turns out come May 1st *fingers crossed*

Sexy Season: The Workout Edition

Simply. I work out because I want to look good naked. I do not care about being healthy. I do not care about posting how many awesome smoothies I made. All I care about is looking sexy naked.

Look, summer is coming, which means bikinis, perfect skin and perfect waxes (getting my monthly one next Tuesday). These few short months is when we are able to show the opposite sex why we are so good for mating, okay that was sort of animalistic, but you get what I’m saying. I really don’t care about attracting the opposite sex, you single folkscan have that part but I don’t want to be a fat (but happy) wife. I want to be a hot wife and that means staying in shape, among other things women should do. So I am going to somehow figure out a challenge I can go on as far as my body is concerned, all water, no fast food etc…for 30 days and then I’ll check back in. Unless I fail pretty badly then I’ll forget this entire thing ever happened.

Mainly though, as cliche as this sounds, beauty starts from within, all of us have something we dislike about our bodies Even those toned ladies that some of us look up to. Don’t beat yourself up too much this summer, no one is perfect ever. No matter what magazines tell you.

Life After the Club (social decline)

“There is nothing like returning to a place unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered” ~ Nelson Mandela RIP

This is how I feel, simply. Nothing is the same, or maybe everything is but me. After not going out for a few months, and just not really being into the “scene” I decided to bring in my 30th with my dancing shoes on. Turning 30 is a milestone I don’t care how you slice it. I am very happy to be thrust into the 3rd decade of my life taking all the bumps and bruises of 20 with me…I’m digressing though…

I decided to go to the club with my vintage chics on my birthday and there was something different about the entire experience. I am a fun girl so I’m not going to say I didn’t have fun, because I did, but about an hour into it I found myself longing for my sweatpants, and my husband. This got me wondering, is this the moment when I lose my “friends”? Is this when it happens? I am becoming the girl that talks loudly into her phone trying to outdo the pounding music, just to arrange a ride home? Is this when I stop wanting to spend all night on twitter, or all night in a club? Or whatever it is cool people do these days.

Like have I really changed for the worse? Am I a sucky friend and person? Then after spending about 20% of my brainpower on that I come to the conclusion that we, as humans, that means you and I, were not put here on this earth to remain the same people we were at 16, or 18, or 21, or in my case 30. The realization of that is a major one. The truth is, I don’t have time, to do the things I used to do, my social life has become my daughters social life. I mean just this weekend the girl was in a parade, had to go to two birthday parties and on top of all that had to do an entire presentation on Jamaica. RIP to all nighters with my hittas….

G I R L

I’ll start by saying, the album is awesome, its filled with feel-good, twirling music and I’ve listened to it at least 12 times since I got it last week. You should go out, purchase it, and enjoy your day. It will have you feeling “Brand New” (see track 2 on the album).

Moving on to the “controversial” album cover that you see above. I need to let my readers know first off that Twitter deemed it controversial so take that however you like, I mean it is twitter. I listened to the album before I ever heard of anything being controversial about the album cover(I don’t tweet as often as I used to). I fell in love with the album and then was informed that there was a bit of an issue when it came to the album cover…not enough blackness…I suppose. Just an FYI here, the girl closest to Pharrell on the album cover is black, but WHY DOES THAT EVEN MATTER? This album is about empowerment, happiness, love, sex, and self acceptance. Stop being such nincompoops and enjoy some actual good music.

A friend of mine (actually my wonder twin) stated that “Black twitter is always angry about something” and I have to agree. All the more reason to throw in “G I R L” and let your anger subside on your way to work

RIP Family Values :(

Growing up watching The Cosby Show, Family Matters, and Fresh Prince of Belair, was nothing out of the ordinary. As a child I wanted about 5 kids when I got married, a dog, and a quirky neighbor kid who’d come over unannounced to annoy everyone in the household. Fast foward about 20 years (give or take) and now our kids aspire to be successful, yet lonely business men and women who from time to time sleep with someone who’s married.

Besides Disney Channel, NickTeen, & Nick Jr. my daughter rarely gets to peek at “prime time television”. She’s too busy watching a show about a Dog with a Blog or something of the sort. However, on the rare instances she walks into my bedroom, or glances at the TV walking through the living room I wonder how much she takes in. It worries me greatly that there is nothing with real substance on TV, look at me…sounding like a mom…

Is it so bad to long for the days where the black family was something that was once normal in the TV world? That brings another thought/question, perhaps modeling ourselves behind what we see on TV has never been a good idea, I’ll admit that, but its an even more horrible idea these days.

With all the directing experience I have (none) I am going to make it my life mission to write, direct, produce and co-produce, a hit sitcom that features a successful black family that gets airplay on network TV (Fox, ABC, NBC). Parents, until I am able to complete this mission I need you to make sure that the example you’re setting is much more powerful than the ones shown on TV.

The Engagement

 We’ve been knowing for a few months that we want to get married, we even have a date picked out. We've been remodeling our home preparing for my move in, and we've started pre-marital counseling. All this with no ring, no proposal. I didn't

need any of that to know that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this man.

Last weekend February 15th, B surprised me with the most beautiful proposal I could ask for. After not doing or getting anything on Valentines Day (and I’m not one of those girls that thinks its just another day) I figured “welp maybe next year”. Saturday, B told me that he’d felt bad about not doing anything for me on Valentines Day and that we had dinner reservations at 7pm for the Hereford House, the same place we celebrated our first (dating) anniversary. Well we arrived, and I was in a rush to order but for some reason B wasn’t. After meaningless chatter and B staring at his phone hopelessly all of a sudden someone starts singing, beautifully, I might add, Tyrese’ “What Am I Going To Do” (a week before all this happened B told me that this song reminds him of us). The rest of the story goes like this…

Me: Wow I didn’t know they played live music here.

B: (calmly) me either.

Me: Oh you know what it must be for Valentines Weekend, how cool.

(music plays more)

Me: Hey baby, this is our song.

B: (leaving chair) I planned this entire thing, (gets on one knee), will you marry me?

(pure shock)

B: Will you?

Me: YES!!!!!

After that all of our friends and family were either there behind a divider, or they were showing up. He made me feel like the most important woman in the world, which is no different than how he normally treats me. That is why I knew from the beginning, without a ring, without an “official” proposal, that this is the man I wanted to spend the rest of my entire life with.