I'm No Revolutionary

In the wake of all that has happened within the past 72 hours it's easy to feel down to feel like the world is against us. Nothing anyone says at this moment will make an already divided race of people feel any solace., We're angry and we want justice, we want justice by further creating injustice, this doesn't seem like a solution to me.

I'm no revolutionary...

I know that we're tired of being ran over, treated like we are less than...to wake up and  look into the face of a world that seems to have no place for you, no place where you're actually wanted, just tolerated. Its...more than disheartening, all news is bad news.

I am not a revolutionary

Bad cops, drug dealers, rapists, government. A threat at every turn. Even when we're doing right we are questioned of our motives. They'd like to believe that there is no good in us, they'd like to make US believe that there is no good in us. 

I'm no revolutionary...but...

I feel them chuckling when we act just like they want us to. I see them saying "I told you I would break her, told you they're not a civilized people." Though they push us to sudden extremes, we feel rage, we feel anger, we feel hurt we feel sadness, we ARE fed up. 

I have never been a part of "The Revolution"

But this is not how I imagined it. I imagined it being well thought out, well planned and well led. We are an emotional group of people, but I would like to believe that our logic outweighs our need to show brute force. The news doesn't show us at peace, they don't show us being non-violent, they don't show us trying to make it in a world full of vultures where no matter where you go you have to keep in the back of your mind the fact that this person might hate me just because.....

R-E-V-O-L-U......

Its hard, because even in this we are divided! Even in this you have people saying that our brand of revenge was ill planned, and others who think that burning down a gas station was the start of something great. We have some who want others to ignore Robin Williams being dead and to save our RIP's and our prayers for Mike Brown...thats not how praying works...just an FYI

T-I-O-N

We CANNOT band together when we are a race that is so fucking far apart. We divide ourselves on everything. Natural vs. Relaxed. Light vs. Dark. The list goes on but I have other races that read my blog and honestly it is too embarrassing to even go any further with that.

I'm black, and I'm proud to be black and there is no other race I'd rather be, but I'm no revolutionary, not in a field of chaos and anger. All we're doing is yelling at a wall expecting it to crumble by the mere sound of our angry voices. Until we take the time to settle down and formulate some type of solution. Until we stop treating these deaths like a bit of pop culture that we are over once the new Jordan's come out....until then all we will ever be is an angry mob of people.

*heavy sigh* I'm done.

Cut this shit out.

Role Model?

I know that eventually people become role models, for their children, siblings, and other family members, but imagine being that for someone you don't even know...a role model. Its a weird feeling right? Being careful of the things that you do and say, watching how you dress, no pictures with liquor...or no liquor at all, ceasing foul language, walking with your back straight. A rather daunting task if I do say so myself. You guys that know me, know that in normal situations I would never sign up to be ANYONE'S role model. Three years or so ago I could not have been my OWN role model truth be told. 

Isn't it crazy how God forces you into things you never thought you'd actually be apart of? One morning, or one night in the shower all of these ideas hit you, and you refuse to act on them because the time doesn't seem right, but honestly there is no better time. You're thinking "well first I need to get myself together", "I have a few more things that I need to do before I can put 100% into this idea", "maybe its an idea and nothing more." All of these statements are what I like to call show stoppers. We convince ourselves that we aren't ready or that we aren't good enough, only to be forced into these roles anyway, rather we want to be there or not its kind of funny.

For almost two years I have been absolutely curving the idea of this and I still haven't totally accepted this. I'm not ready to grow up, I want to remain a 30 year old child, apparently it's impossible to do so and some of my adult roles have completely grown on me, and I love them. So here's to the start of "Little Girls Big Dreams" I even have a mission statement.

To help young girls realize and pursue their dreams, all while empowering them to believe in themselves and their abilities.

Bear with me as this is a huge work in progress and honestly one of many ventures that have piqued my interest, but I figure if I've been having this same idea for the past two years and haven't worked towards it at all, then it must mean something. This is going to SERIOUSLY test me. Y'all. I suck at planning things, I can't even show up to some things let alone be on time so this entire thing is as surprising to me as it is to some of the people I've told, if not more! Pray my strength as I embark on this journey.

Ciao

#SelfLoveSaturday (On Tuesday)

This weeks message is about betting on yourself!

This is a pretty big deal when it comes to my life. There have been times when I let people convince me that I am unable to do some things so I just don't do it. Don't let other people project their fears onto you, it's not fair to let that into your space.. Never be afraid to stretch yourself beyond your comfort zone. You are never too old, young, fat, skinny, smart, dumb, etc. to fulfill your purpose. It took me awhile to accept this and I am still accepting this and it is an awesome journey knowing that I can do anything that I put my mind to as long as I don't let my own negative thoughts or anyone else's sneak into my life.

I hope this short video inspires you the way it inspired me.

New Project Coming Soon!!!

Canady Chronicles: "So how's the married life?"

Good morning boys and girls!

I was able to step away from the Kim Kardashian game and actually get some family time in. That game is beyond addictive and I've always considered myself lucky to have never gotten sucked into the Kardashian empire but this game just keeps calling me. On to the blog post...

Growing up as a child I never had the big family dinners, or a dad that sat at the head of the table getting the big piece of chicken. For the first 10 years of my life it was just Rita and me. She was who I depended on for everything, I really had no one to reach out to emotionally besides her and imaginary friends. I know that sounds sad but its not. The crazy thing about living in your own world is that you don't know anything is wrong with it until someone points it out. No one ever pointed it out for me, so I was happy, for the most part. However, sitting down watching shows like the Cosby's made me long for my own huge black successful family. So much so that I said "That's going to be me when I grow up". Decent kids, good family values, and enough love to spare.

Sometimes life gets hard, and it is surprisingly nothing at all like a sitcom (who knew?). Real life things happen that hinder your dreams, and though a lot of things I longed for as a child have gone out the window, one thing remained the same, family.  I love the people you see in the picture above, they are my everything, they are what I didn't have as a child, they are my peace when the world seems at war with me. I don't miss the clubs, I don't miss the dating scene, I don't miss being single. I wouldn't trade the feeling they give me for the world.

So, not that I mind it (3 of my friends asked me this question this weekend lol), but this is for all those people who inquire about how "married life" is. These are all the things I want to say but can't fit into a conversation that I'm having in passing so I just have to say its great, but that doesn't at all sum up my feelings about it. In fact the next time someone asks me this I will just refer them to the blog!!!!

Have a good one folks!

#SelfLove: Don't Compare Yourself to Others.

Hi boys and girls!!!

So I've been on this "kick" a self love "kick". Each and every Saturday my friend (in my head) Andrea Lewis, posts videos about loving yourself and they honestly just bring me joy. They give me what I need for the week. I thought that it would be nice to share.

This weeks video is about not comparing yourself to other people. She mentions social media, and other things that make us envious of people that we don't even know. When someone is posting on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, etc etc. We usually post the best things about our life. So don't let that make you wish for someone else's life, almost no one posts the bad days!!!

Check the video out below:

Ciao!

30 Days of Yoga

Simple peaceful yoga poses. 

I will do these poses everyday starting this evening. After searching all over for an inexpensive yoga class, I decided that I'm a pretty great DIYer (when it comes to working out, don't mistake this for me saying that I'm crafty in the least) and I can do this without any instruction whatsoever. A self taught yogi, I am. Speak like Yoda, I do. Anyway I thought I'd share the sequence that I'm doing. Perhaps you guys will join!!! 

Happy Wednesday!

Transformation Tuesday: Oil Cleansing Method c/o HeyFranHey

Hi guys! I hope everyone had a well rested weekend!!! Okay lets get started, yes pictured on the left is oil and yes I'm telling you to clean your face with it. I just stumbled upon this because of my new obsession with heyfranhey (just type that name in Google, she's pretty much everywhere you can imagine). 

I really don't know what has happened to me but lately I've been into growing out my relaxed strands, attempting yoga, watching what I eat, and just overall being as healthy as possible. 

Introducing the oil cleansing method, who knew you could clean your face with oil? Well apparently it is possible and I am excited to try it out. I don't have problem skin per se, but I do have a few little friends that pop up here and there and a set of blemishes near my jaw that I absolutely hate. Other than that I don't have many complaints. I'm really trying this because sometimes after washing my face I feel the need to cover my face in cocoa butter because it feels so dry. I really hate that "if I smile too hard I'm going to crack wide open" feeling so I thought that this was worth a try. Below I've posted a YouTube video of how it works, and it also includes the oils that you can use depending on your skin. 

I won't start this routine up until this coming Friday, from there I'll give it awhile before I report back on what it has done or hasn't done for me. I'm just willing to try it because I've been researching and I honestly only see good outcomes.

#KCInStyle: Positivity

Because positivity is always in style. Follow this jewel on instagram, she has a beautiful spirit, is a writer, an entrepreneur and just all around has genuine thoughts that she shares with the world, not like the ones you find posted on top of a celebrities photo, but real, touching, common sense words of wisdom. She has a book out that is called "Words from a Wanderer" and will be releasing another one on July 7th of this year entitled "Love in my Language" I was telling a friend that I need to read both, but until I make time her instagram and twitter quotes are giving me life...literally.  She is the reason I continue to write and do what I love. She's effortless. Get into it.

alexellebooks.bigcartel.com

alexelle.com

OITNB (Binge Watched)

I tried to pace myself I really did, but this show is like Pringles, once you pop the fun don't stop. You end up with an empty can, dry mouth, and salty fingers. Thirteen and a half hours of my weekend, spent in front of a TV and we're not even going to discuss how bad that is for your brain (I had to take a couple of headache breaks). Just like with binge eating, I feel full and a little overwhelmed, but I'm happy.

Listen, if you haven't yet gotten into this awesome Netflix series, I encourage you to do so, it is one of the greatest, right up there with House Of Cards (in my opinion better, but that is not a war I'm willing to fight). Below is just a short review of how I relate to some of the characters. Don't worry there are no spoilers hidden in this blog entry at all...

Piper: Speaks to my creative and calm side, also my indecisive and overall screw up can't get right side.
Alex: She's for my manipulative side, I know its surprising but I have my ways. I'm trying to move past this but I love you guys and I feel like I can be real. I am manipulative...on occasion.
Taystee: My unapologetic ghetto, misbehaving, miscreant that comes out whenever any song from No Limit, or Mac Dre is played. She cannot be contained, in fact I enjoy letting her loose, especially during weddings.
Crazy Eyes: That's my sensitive "don't push me cause I'm close to the edge side" which only my husband is privy to. I'm allowed to go crazy in the confines of my own home. Plus I walk around here with Bantu Knots for days at a time, much like hers.


And finally POUSSEY...*P is bae that's really all there is to it. She speaks to the side that might kiss a girl on a rainy day with a picnic basket in my hand, but only if she has gorgeous teeth, an even all around fade, wears a grey sweat shirt and talks with this beautiful conviction each time see speaks. Unfortunately Poussey is married to a man and has a dog in real life, trust me I've looked. Aside from all that, shes real, she's passionate, she's a sweetheart, and she's funny...woo woo woo.

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*my husband is well aware of my girl crush on P aka Samira Wiley. I have told him all throughout the show that she is thee cutest little thing I've ever seen and though I'm not gay, or bi, I'd like to hold hands with her and do stuff like...I don't know...swing on swings or whatever. Anyway he understands and is okay with this.
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So these are my girls. This is my show. I hate that I watched the entire thing and will have to wait another year before I get another OITNB fix. I just couldn't help myself. Check it out on Netflix you won't be disappointed, oh and be sure to put the kids to bed, this is not a kid friendly show.

Yogie With Me?

Namaste:

My soul honors your soul.

I honor the place in you where the entire universe resides. 

I honor the light, love, truth, beauty & peace within you, because it is also within me. 

In sharing these things we are united, we are the same, we are one. 

Good afternoon guys! I have been wanting to do Yoga for awhile and beyond talking about it I have been trying to figure out something that works for me, and this seems to be my winner so far. Its called the Sun Salutation. I would think its best to do so in the morning during sunrise. So if you're into this kind of thing or have been wanting to try it out, this may be a good starting place. Soon we'll all be able to do wicked handstands like the professionals. Below is a video of the sequence. 

Peace, God Bless. Until next time.

#KCInStyle: Working on my fitness

Say hi to this DOLL! I've been following her for about a month and I must say she is awesome and motivating and positive, its rare that you find all 3 in one person but this girl has it all not to mention she's in amazing shape. I am dying to get back in the gym faithfully, but normally I just get pumped about it but never actually go. Following @thebeautymaven makes me want to at least attempt it! I am a skinny girl that wants curves...but healthy ones. Follow her for motivating words as well as photos! Check out her blog at thebeautymaven.wordpress.com 

Hello Junie!

Time for GOALS!!!! First we will review how I did on last months goals. *ahem*

1. NO SOCIAL NETWORKS: I did it, if you recall the apps were removed from my phone. I think I was tons more productive with a few snags here and there, but for the most part it was a good break. So much negative stuff takes place online, not this blog of course, but you get my drift.

2. GET A HOBBY: This was so hard to do y'all, but I can honestly say I found one. Along with blogging my NEWEST hobby is biking. I realized this after almost dying on a bike but then experiencing the euphoria finishing a 14 mile ride brings.

3. READ A BOOK: I did it, I did it. That particular book was given to me as a Christmas gift by my darling sister in law and I got so busy with the wedding and the move and life that I didn't have a chance to pick it up. When I did though I was extremely pleased and a "tipsy book review" is coming your way folks.

4. PAY TWO BILLS OFF MY DEBT: Fail. Super fail. Hey I'm human (no excuse) but I'm trying to get this thing right. I bought a car instead, which I REALLY NEEDED, so don't you f*cking judge me. Okay? 

Alright since I failed goal four completely, I do not get a prize this month, I'm willing to try again with June goals though. I understand that in most things I do, I feel like I'm doing well but its always nice to ask someone else what THEY think you can improve on, so I figured why not ask Mr. Canady since he basically has to deal with my nuttiness 24/7/365, here is his one goal for me.

1. Take Initiative. 

When he said this I knew exactly what he meant AND that he was right. There are times when I have tons of questions that I can answer on my own by just being resourceful or sitting and thinking. Plus I'm smart but lazy and that is a horrible combination. So I'm going to work diligently on that, thanks B.

2. Conquer PMS. 

Surprisingly this is not a husband oriented goal, this is coming straight from me. I am a very sensitive person, very timid at times (my friends will think these are lies, but its the truth) and when my cycle comes around I feel like I'm stuck in a glass case of emotion. Most of these emotions are anger, sadness, jealousy...I mean just straight up being a jerk about everything. This needs correcting.

3. Read: The Fault in Our Stars. Girl Boss

Because, I've mastered being a girl, now I need to become a boss.

4. Pay Two Bills Off Debt:

See last months fail :(

Canady Chronicles: STUCK in love!

I  been reading. I  been reading. I don't know why but I just felt like saying that, plus its true. Anyway I was reading this book by one of my favorite people in the world Mindy Kaling. In the book she talks about how most movies, plays, etc end with marriage and happily ever after. Like the fun ends when the marriage starts. Who wants to see a movie about a marriage? Well if its as cool as mine is I'm going to raise my hand to the sky. I think its important to magnify how awesome being married is and how much better it is than dating *sticks out tongue*.

My husband is my best friend, not in the sense that I tell him everything (don't worry your secrets are safe with me) but in the way that I love hanging out with him above anyone else, and I think he's the funniest person I've ever met. We really have a good time and I'm not always dying for a girls night (although its due) or to get away from him in general. In fact as I sit here and type this, the man JUST sent me a snapchat of himself singing "All The Way Turned Up" in his car doing this weird janky move, and I love it.

Being married is not just about unprotected sex on call and having two incomes, both are extremely nice don't get me wrong but it gets better. Marriage, for me is about being able to wake up to his face each morning, the unsolicited butt grabs throughout the day, laying on his lap reading while he plays COD, knowing and being okay with this being the person that I'm going to sit on a porch with, old as hell, heckling young people. MY problems are now OUR problems and MY wins are now OUR wins, and vice versa.

We disagree, I pout, I make a big deal out of things that he thinks are silly, I get defensive, he shows no emotion, he takes everything for face value, I always dig for a deeper meaning...I mean these are the things we deal with, but none of the above listed outweighs the love and respect I have for our union. So while its hard to see why anyone gets married these days, remember that it's STILL the greatest thing on earth if you do it right.

RIP Maya Angelou

"Everything in the universe has a rhythm, everything dances"

For a woman who's words pretty much shaped my entire teenage years, I felt like it would be appropriate to give you guys some of my own. Don't judge me because I am EXTREMELY rusty, but its from the heart.

Lady, don't ever drop your crown.

When people challenge your motives or mock your efforts, never put your head down to weep.

Face the sun with your tears and push forward.

The world teaches us to hate what we are, and we allow it without even being aware.

Beware.

Everything that is portrayed in the media is not real. 

There are self respecting women left who believe in loving themselves like God loves them.

Sister, don't follow the masses, for where they're going they don't even know. 

Listen to your inner voice, do what makes you happy and what makes you feel like the Queen you are.

You deserve that title. 

You were born with that title.

Act the part.

~Keish~

Today we lost an iconic woman, a classic woman, a delightful woman, a joyful woman. I have never heard her speak in person (she was coming to KC in August I believe) but just reading her books, her poems, or seeing a quote or two slide across Pinterest made me feel like she was my own personal life coach. RIP May Angelou, you are royalty. 

#KCInStyle: Fashion Blogger

" A girl should be two things, who and what she wants" ~ Coco Chanel

Let me introduce you all to my friend in my head thedaileigh, I follow her on IG (thanks to Curly Kincy) and I think she is the dopest thing ever. Not only is she fierce honey, but she hosts these workshops that tell you how to shop, not to mention all the outfits that she puts together on her website she links exactly where you can find these pieces or at least something similar. I literally OD on that entire website so go ahead and indulge because I certainly have. Follow this beauty on IG @TheDaileigh 

Transformation Tuesday: Dress For Your Personality

"Creative people are rarely sex symbols Keisha"

Hi guys! A little late night posting never hurt anyone right? As you read in the title this late night blog is about fashion, but not in the way that you think. This post is about dressing for your personality. The quote you see above was told to me by my Wonder Twin once when we were discussing my style of dress. This was so on point and true when it comes to me.  I am unapologetically most comfortable in a cute t shirt some distressed jeans and some heels (I still enjoy my foot in a sexy shoe). You're not going to get much more from me unless I'm going somewhere fancy or if my husband insists, and even then I'm not va va voom sex kitten.

I like to believe that my brain is sexy, and my quirks are sexy, but having an actual sexy look I REALLY just don't think its in me, and I'm fine with that. Of course I see all these gorgeous girls with this perfect makeup and this perfect hair, and I think they are all dolls. Honestly though, the only thing I care about being perfect are my teeth (I obsess over teeth, hence the job title). I'm okay with "just being cute" that doesn't bother me at all, and in a room full of "bad b*tches" getting looked over has never been a problem for me.

So here's to us normal girls without all the whoop de doo and la di da, but we still manage to pull off a perfect mixture of cuteness and weirdness that some guys are lucky enough to experience! CHEERS!!!

(Picture above was taken by my husband on our 1 year anniversary and he picked out and purchased the entire outfit without my knowledge)

#KCInStyle: Hair Crush

Hi guys and dolls! So yes I took almost a week off and I'm not sorry, from being a cheer mom to making hard decisions I've been busy and I have not been on my game or had very many blog ideas that any of you would like reading about, but I'm back like I never left.

This week of course we have KCInStyle just like every week and this time it features MY HAIR CRUSH posh_syd. Her hair is amazing and her style is even more awesome but I thought it important to spotlight her hair today because I have made the decision to stop putting a relaxer on my hair. Its taken about a year for me to build up the nerve to try this and not give up, and this young lady (among others) keeps me pretty inspired. So follow her on IG and I'll talk to you guys soon!!! 

Oh btw any tips you have for going natural are SO welcome...

Transformation Tuseday: Inward

"You gotta go inward, to experience the outer space that was meant for you, you gotta go inward"

I have to be transparent with you guys, I was going to do a post about the importance of sunscreen for African American people but honestly that didn't move me. I made a vow when I started this blog that this would be for me. Of course I don't mind a few tips for my readers here and there but I don't want this to ever become about the amount of visitors I get to this site. KeishCan was started so that I can have an outlet for me. If you enjoy reading them that's just a bonus. This isn't to say I'll stop doing some of the posts I've been doing but I keep a really short leash (for lack of a better word) on myself when it comes to being who I truly am. You have no idea how easy it is for me to get flighty and concerned with so many things that don't really matter at all.

So in true back to me fashion I want to talk about loving yourself. I can talk for days about hair care products, and skin care products and all these things that are supposed to make you look however it is you want to look but in all honesty that comes from within. A bitter spirit cannot flourish no matter how much make up you put on it.

There are times when I let people upset me, and that's the first problem. The second is how much I can internalize that and how much it dims my light from within. There comes a time where we need to be able to shield ourselves from hate but be open to love. Its difficult to do both, trust me. Its an uphill battle but I think once you initially understand that YOU control how happy YOU are no one else can stop that.

Until next time...

#KCInStyle: DIY

First off let me start by SCREAMING... Happy Mothers Day to all the moms, grandmoms, aunts, sisters, and anyone else who may have stepped in as a mom at some point in your life. Thank you thank you thank you for all that you do!!!

This week belongs to ChrissiBeee. And yes she is from Kansas City, however she moved to Texas and all of a sudden has this awesome talent of salvaging things. I follow her on IG (you should too) for one she's an awesome mother and for two she makes cool stuff like this. I don't know where this talent came from, just a month ago we were watching Rehab Addict together (on twitter) and she was saying how she wants to do stuff like that. The above picture is a prime example of how if you say you want to do it you should JUST DO IT!!! Nike had it right. 

In case you haven't noticed every feature on KCInStyle inspires me. I think its cool will people are...cool. Anyway follow this doll on IG, and maybe she'll ship you something, okay I'm being ambitious, maybe you can PAY her to ship you something, although right now I think this is just a hobby. Sucks for me :( 

Being Mrs. Canady: Mothers Day Edition

Well Mother's Day is right around the corner and this will be the first mothers day that I will have my very own loving little family. Not to say celebrating Mothers Day being single is any less rewarding but this one just feels different, and makes me sort of joyful. In case you have NO idea about me(very possible, I mean who am I?) I recently got married on March 1st, I have one daughter and one bonus son (because I've never liked the way "step son" sounded) and of course a loving husband.

In the past two months I've experienced a lot of compromise, a lot of selflessness, and a lot of love. If you're married you know people ask you during the entire first month of the marriage "Do you feel any different?" my answer was always no because it was all a blur, all I knew is that I loved this man and he loved me and I was ready to spend the rest of my life with him, thats what the first month was all about. Recently, however, a good friend of mine (Kylie Poo) asked me again, how is married life. I told her, with so much joy in my spirit

"Being married is like having a partner on a field trip that you know as long as that person is there holding your hand you're not lost, and if you ARE lost you're lost together trying to figure this thing out and that gives this inexplicable feeling of security"

That's what married life has been for me thus far. I have two wonderful children who I love with all my heart, a supportive husband that has my back in every situation. They provide a great support system. This mother's day will be full of joy, love, and laughter, even if they don't get me anything I'm just thanking God for the blessings he has bestowed upon my life.

Transformation Tuesday: Ride it, my pony.

Let me start off by saying I hate to sweat. Its true, I don't like it, I don't want any parts of it. I don't like it on me and I don't feel stronger because of it. However, I don't mind a little glow, or a moist sparkle. Now on to the point I'm supposed to be making...given all of those facts listed above I would do it for "the bike". 

A couple of weeks ago my husband and I hopped on a tandem* bike and I've been in love with the THOUGHT of it every since. So much so that I want to go out and find a bike, trick out my wheels and ride like the wind. The bike pictured above is a Fixed Gear bike also known as a "fixie" which means "better" and this particular one costs 429.00 per the site that I'm browsing. Four hundred and twenty nine dollars! And that's not even the most expensive one that I've seen. I'll keep doing research and check out a few other places before I commit, but I'm excited about this summer.

If you're interested in biking and live in the Kansas City Area you should Google "Critical Mass" its a monthly bike event that looks pretty cool. Hopefully you'll spot me at the next one. Until next time my hittas!

*A tandem bike is a couples bike and its as awesome to ride as it looks.

#KCInStyle: Watercolor

Happy Monday guys!!! Okay this weeks edition of #KCInStyle features MY favorite MimiG. Shes a blogger, mom, wife, and dope seamstress. She makes most of her own clothes and gives people like me (who have no idea even how to sew on a girl scout patch) hope. She has tons of tutorials on her site (www.mimigstyle.com) and she even sells some of the things that she makes.

I know you're probably asking yourself "Is she from KC?" Nope she's not, I guess I failed to mention that the KC in #KCInStyle could also just mean "Keish Can" lol. Don't worry fellow Missourians, I always look to give you guys props first, but when all else fails I look other places. Anyway, check this young lady out, she is awesome and has a great spirit. Until next time folks!!!

Hello May!!!

Before we say hi to May, let me revisit Aprils goals, briefly. 

1. Get closer to God (check! However this is a lifelong goal so I won't need to add this every month)

2. Save $1000 (check! You'd be surprised how much money you save when you stop actually purchasing lunch)

3. KEEP MY WORD!!! (check! My friends should vouch, any one of them I made plans with this month I kept.)

4. DON'T PROCRASTINATE!!! (check! Its easier to handle things as soon as possible, in fact handle the most daunting tasks first)

So with that being said I won in April, my prize? Some cool patterned pants from Target (Tar-jay) that make me sing the Sandford and Son theme song each time I put them on.

Now on to May's Goals

1. No social networks!!  Let me explain, due to me being a blogger I won't disappear from them completely, but I am now making a conscious effort not to disappear into them either. Until I find a happy medium I will be removing Facebook, Twitter....and I'm really struggling with removing Pinterest :(. From my phone. 

2. Get a Hobby!! I've started playing kickball but for some reason I want something else. I just need something more to do. I'm such a creepy introvert that this goal is next to impossible but like those self help people say "The word IMPOSSIBLE has I'm Possible in it..." how lame is that?

3. Read a Book!! This should be easy, I love books, I love to read, I just noticed that I haven't been reading any actual novels lately and I got sad about that today. So I'm going to read and enjoy at least one book this month.

4. Pay two bills off of my debt owed to society!! No really, I plan to take my credit report and pay at least two bills that have gotten on there because of my negligence and lack of care. Don't judge me lest ye be judged. 

So these are my goals this month, I really hope I reach them all. The prize that I'm holding over my head is awesome, hopefully I'll be able to show it off to you guys in June :)

Transformation Tuesday: Hair, Skin, Nails

Good morning everyone! Well as you all know its Transformation Tuesday, a day where we talk about health in general and the strides we've made throughout the week. As far as my weight goes, I weighed in this morning at 130.0, and I'm still doing all my normal exercise routines. I was sure that nothing would have changed in a week that's why this weeks Transformation Tuesday is focused on Hair, Skin and Nails.

We'll begin with MY hair. Last year sometime (I never keep up with dates) I decided to go on a half ass hair journey and surprisingly with minimal effort the things I was doing worked. I begin to stretch my relaxers (which I still haven't gotten the hang of completely) and watch the amount of heat that I put into my hair. I also visit a salon regularly, in case I need a trim and I NEVER apply my own relaxers. Pictured below are the products I use for a simple wash day. Most people have tons of stuff they use but as I said its a half ass effort on my end. 

Next is skin, WATER WATER WATER!!! People preach this and it actually works. There is no miracle liquid that was invented by The Artist Formally Known As....nope this stuff is all around us and its FREE! Can you believe that? I drink water all day long although sometimes I slack off and grab a soda, just being honest. I think it is also important to wash your face, its funny how much more I put into having "perfect skin" vs "perfect hair" but whatever YOU WILL DEAL. Pictured below are my go-to face washes, NOT pictured below is the moisturizer I use because I usually just dab some Eucerin lotion on my face lol, it works so far. 

Lastly nails, what can I say about these? I don't bite them (putting fingers in my mouth seems germy, unless its Mr. Nasty Time with my husband). I don't really do much to maintain these things, I polish them each week with whatever shade of pink or purple I'm feeling. I did struggle with cuticle issues because I wash my hands often throughout the day due to my job, but I've learned that moisturizing right after seems to help. Pictured below is a supplement called Biotin, that helps with all of these (hair skin nails). I don't take it often enough to say that its whats making the difference, but if you're curious it can be found pretty much EVERYWHERE!!! 

Welp guys that's all I have for Transformation Tuesday, I hope this helped someone. God bless until next time!!!

#KCInStyle: Mixed Prints

From this point forward I will show off my city and the people in it by entering the style of the week on Instagram, into my blog. No the winner does not GET anything this is not a competition at all. Sometimes when scrolling through IG I get inspired. I follow some pretty cool people that post more than memes, inspirational quotes, and pictures of text messages of them cursing out some random person I hope to never meet.  

This weeks pick is special, it is my fashionable friend Jessica, (it won't always be someone I know) I figured since she's the one that inspired me to do this entire section I'd ask her if I could use her pic as my first post, she obliged. Jessica pulled this look off well, its not often that you see outside of the box turn out as well as this did, but it worked. As you can see Jessica's IG tag is in the upper left corner of the picture. Feel free to follow her for more cute outfits, you won't be disappointed.

The Other Woman

What a beautiful weekend it's been in Kansas City.  House Hunting, and date night, basically an all around good time with my husband. So good that he agreed to sitting through a chick flick and I didn't even have to insist much.....so shout out to him. However...comma this post isn't about him and how great he is, it's about "The Other Woman" a movie starring my twin, Cameron Diaz, Kate Upton and Leslie Mann. 

First off I'll say this is an awesome, laughing good time and you should go see it. Secondly it got me thinking, how realistic is that situation?  I mean we all know how realistic a married man having a mistress is in the 21st century. (I am not at all excusing this behavior, in fact I think it's sad and just pointing out what some of us accept as the norm). Too many times I've heard full grown women proclaiming "Well I'm his number one" and I'm thinking "No." But that's another blog in itself.

My question is how realistic is it to build an actual relationship with a woman who (unbeknownst to her) is/was your husbands mistress? The movie made it quite realistic and enjoyable believe it or not. Throughout all of the madness the ladies formed a sort of bond, a sisterhood, it was admirable to say the least. The anger became directed at the deserving party rather than the women who were involved. Hmph, who knew something like that could actually work? You'll understand that 5 minutes from now.

Well, until next time dolls!!!

Transformation Tuesday: Transparency

Lots of “T’s” up there I know, but as the subtitle states this is my chance to be completely transparent about my weight. EVERYONE has something about their bodies that they are JUST not here for. I truly believe this, and maybe it makes me feel better about my dislikes and I’m making that up, but for me it is FACT lol.

I’m a skinny girl, anyone that knows me says I’m small but for one that does not mean my weight is perfect or that my body type is the “preferred” one. There are still things I feel like I need to target. Namely my butt, and my stomach.

Butt Goals: I need it to be bigger

Tummy Goals: I need it to be flatter.

Simple. My husband (bless his heart) loves my body but I always see something in those two areas that I want to change. So I’m going to do it before it becomes too hard because I’m almost certain my metabolism is going to come to a complete stop within 5 years. This is going to be difficult because I don’t have any actual weight loss or gain goals. My goals ar listed above and as I stated are simple. However, for the sake of this and future posts I will document my weight, water intake (if I can remember), squats, and tummy excercies for the coming weeks. Wish me luck.

Starting weight: 131.2 (Height 5'6.5)

I Guess I'm a Feminist (Buzzfeed Quiz Reveal)

“Being defiant can be a good thing sometimes,” Aunty Ifeoma said. “Defiance is like marijuana — it is not a bad thing when it is used right.”

~Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Lately I’ve been all about empowering women, it is so easy to get down on yourself as a female these days. I just feel like we all need to hear that little voice saying “You’re better than that”. Its not all about how a man treats you or how society treats you but more about how you treat yourself SLJ (self love journey).

I know that we have been told time and time again, what NOT to take from a man and how we should carry ourselves, but I don’t think it’s getting through. With a plethora of media types, showing us how we should look, telling us how to behave, we get lost in that. I won’t even mention the shows we watch that make men think its normal to sleep EVERYWHERE (not just around) and women think that as long as they’re number 1 then they’re good. Don’t Be Stupid. What you see on reality is not reality, and it certainly isn’t something you should adopt as YOUR OWN reality. Stop being stupid.

Anyway, I’m a feminist and I have not always been this way, I used to be a bit of a…well I don’t know, I had to get my self esteem right together and fast, and that’s what I did and am still currently doing. I’m just trying to take some people with me.

If you want to know if YOU too are a feminist, take this 3 second quiz (literally) from Buzzfeed. http://www.buzzfeed.com/kellyoakes/are-you-a-feminist

Positivity

“I release all disappointment, from my mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional bodies, cause I know that spirit guides me, and love lives inside me. Thats why today I take life as it comes” India.Arie

This is one of my favorite quotes, and lately its been my mantra. With so much going on around me, everything moving at the speed of light, it takes some real concentration to slow things down, but it’s possible. I get so wrapped up in…everything. Gossip, drama, ugliness, negativity. People say its like watching a train wreck…hard to turn away. The difference with this is even when you’re just enjoying the show, you internalize some of that stuff. You compare your situation to others and without knowing it you cross the line of humility. Being humble is what makes life worth living, in my opinion. Slow down.

Thus far 2014 has been about health and love…self love. I’m learning to appreciate the beauty that is within me. There are so many ugly things I can list about myself, so many past mistakes that I have made that I could be ashamed of, but what good does that do me? Instead I’ve taken the time to appreciate who I am, what I am, appreciate the words that form in my brain and come out on my lips. The human psyche is a delicate thing, I have to pay attention to what goes into my body, mind, soul and spirit. There is nothing at all wrong with taking some time for yourself, to reevaluate the direction your life is going in. Reevaluate the people that you are allowing in your precious circle. Revelauate yourself. Forward movement.

“Life is far too long to spend it doing things you hate with people who mean you no good”

~Me.

Hello April: Monthly Goals

This is not going to be my typical weekly rant of crazy talk. Instead this will focus on my goals for the month and hopefully serve to keep me in line, which has proven next to impossible.

Goals:

1. Continue to grow closer to God
2. Save $1000 (Total Money Makeover)
3. DON’T PROCRASTINATE
4. KEEP MY WORD!

The last two are ongoing problems for me, well not problems, but things about myself that I’m not a big fan of. It seems that my intentions are good but something always comes up, or I completely forget I’ve made another commitment on the same exact day and time. I’ll let you know how it turns out come May 1st *fingers crossed*

Sexy Season: The Workout Edition

Simply. I work out because I want to look good naked. I do not care about being healthy. I do not care about posting how many awesome smoothies I made. All I care about is looking sexy naked.

Look, summer is coming, which means bikinis, perfect skin and perfect waxes (getting my monthly one next Tuesday). These few short months is when we are able to show the opposite sex why we are so good for mating, okay that was sort of animalistic, but you get what I’m saying. I really don’t care about attracting the opposite sex, you single folkscan have that part but I don’t want to be a fat (but happy) wife. I want to be a hot wife and that means staying in shape, among other things women should do. So I am going to somehow figure out a challenge I can go on as far as my body is concerned, all water, no fast food etc…for 30 days and then I’ll check back in. Unless I fail pretty badly then I’ll forget this entire thing ever happened.

Mainly though, as cliche as this sounds, beauty starts from within, all of us have something we dislike about our bodies Even those toned ladies that some of us look up to. Don’t beat yourself up too much this summer, no one is perfect ever. No matter what magazines tell you.

Life After the Club (social decline)

“There is nothing like returning to a place unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered” ~ Nelson Mandela RIP

This is how I feel, simply. Nothing is the same, or maybe everything is but me. After not going out for a few months, and just not really being into the “scene” I decided to bring in my 30th with my dancing shoes on. Turning 30 is a milestone I don’t care how you slice it. I am very happy to be thrust into the 3rd decade of my life taking all the bumps and bruises of 20 with me…I’m digressing though…

I decided to go to the club with my vintage chics on my birthday and there was something different about the entire experience. I am a fun girl so I’m not going to say I didn’t have fun, because I did, but about an hour into it I found myself longing for my sweatpants, and my husband. This got me wondering, is this the moment when I lose my “friends”? Is this when it happens? I am becoming the girl that talks loudly into her phone trying to outdo the pounding music, just to arrange a ride home? Is this when I stop wanting to spend all night on twitter, or all night in a club? Or whatever it is cool people do these days.

Like have I really changed for the worse? Am I a sucky friend and person? Then after spending about 20% of my brainpower on that I come to the conclusion that we, as humans, that means you and I, were not put here on this earth to remain the same people we were at 16, or 18, or 21, or in my case 30. The realization of that is a major one. The truth is, I don’t have time, to do the things I used to do, my social life has become my daughters social life. I mean just this weekend the girl was in a parade, had to go to two birthday parties and on top of all that had to do an entire presentation on Jamaica. RIP to all nighters with my hittas….

G I R L

I’ll start by saying, the album is awesome, its filled with feel-good, twirling music and I’ve listened to it at least 12 times since I got it last week. You should go out, purchase it, and enjoy your day. It will have you feeling “Brand New” (see track 2 on the album).

Moving on to the “controversial” album cover that you see above. I need to let my readers know first off that Twitter deemed it controversial so take that however you like, I mean it is twitter. I listened to the album before I ever heard of anything being controversial about the album cover(I don’t tweet as often as I used to). I fell in love with the album and then was informed that there was a bit of an issue when it came to the album cover…not enough blackness…I suppose. Just an FYI here, the girl closest to Pharrell on the album cover is black, but WHY DOES THAT EVEN MATTER? This album is about empowerment, happiness, love, sex, and self acceptance. Stop being such nincompoops and enjoy some actual good music.

A friend of mine (actually my wonder twin) stated that “Black twitter is always angry about something” and I have to agree. All the more reason to throw in “G I R L” and let your anger subside on your way to work